Wednesday, November 12, 2008

RANDOM PANIC - number one.

I titled this post "Random Panic - number one" because I assume that random panic might be the norm for me, so there will likely be a number two, three and so on. Here is an episode of said panic in the last week.

I have been camped out at the coffee shop for a couple of weeks working on my YA novel. Last week I had a mini panic attack. Not the kind that requires medicine, or makes you want to vomit, or faint... But the kind that requires a glass of wine and some “You can do its!” from mom, SF and other friends.

Maybe these periods of self-doubt are normal? Since I have never written a novel, I am not sure. It’s all new to me. I feel so good about my story, and yet there are places that feel dry, and large unwritten voids that I wondered if I would be able to effectively fill.

Oddly, as soon as I gave myself permission to back up and re-group, I felt better. And the ideas started flowing again. But for that one night, I felt depressed and worried. I sure hope those nights are few and far between, and I can crank out the story that my body literally aches to tell.

I'm choosing to think positive. I'll keep you posted.

P.S. Positive thinking doesn't mean random panic doesn't occur. At least not in my world. Oh! and I finally found some good music to listen to.


Hardygirl said...

I think "random panic" is a constant part of this gig . . .especially after reading all of the grim news about the economy. Are publishers even buying books from new writers???? Uh oh, now I'm panicking, too.

Katie said...

SF - do you have the new Charlie Mars album? It's great.

Suzanne Young said...

Oh, the music will help! And the panic is so normal. What counts is that you didn't let it stop you! I know. That's sounds very self-help bookish of me...


Tyler said...

Oh, yes, random panic is all a part of the process. If you didn't experience an occasional panic over your story, I'd say that probably means you are self-delusional about the whole thing. Everyone feels their story is completely flawed at one time or another.

Check out "Bird by Bird," by Anne Lamott. It's a great book about writing that takes a section and deals with this exact kind of situation, and how to handle it gracefully (or at least, without pulling out your shotgun and going on a rampage in the coffee shop).

Katie said...

Thanks y'all! It's good to know it's normal. I have composed Random Panic - number two, so I can't wait to hear your thoughts on it... (in a few days)

I am camped out today trying to work, but my phone died this morn, and so I went to get a new iphone - which is both exciting and ultra confusing. So not much writing is happening. oh well. Maybe I needed a little break.

Anyhoo... THANKS!!!!

Hardygirl said...

Thanks for the Charlie Mars rec--it's awesome!

Everyone, go . . . GO NOW and download it.


Katie said...

It's the "Like a Bird, Like a Plane" album.

Shelli said...

Katie - I hope our conversation did not start this. Ill jsut say that through every panic attack I have about my book, it gets better. keep plugging along. Your book is great! call me if you want to talk. Then again, If I particiated in starting your spiral, you better not :) Thx for the awesome feedback.

Katie said...


Not to worry!!!! I LOVED getting your feedback! (but I did write number two about the new crazyness I've faced with getting 3 really different critiques over 24 hours.)

I will talk to you soon. Can't wait. I am chomping at the bit to get back to working on it. I have a zillion boring household things I have to do today, so I can't work on it. arrrgghhh!!!

Christy Raedeke said...

I think it's our job as writers to freak out every now and then. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one! If you ever get a chance I'd love to see you post your "Random Panic" playlist.

Katie said...

That is a great idea Christy! But they are so weird, I'd almost be embarrassed. haha

Speaking of GREAT soundtracks - I have been jammin' to the Twilight soundtrack lately and it is totally rockin' awesome!

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