Thursday, February 19, 2009

Random Disgusting Post . . .

First, I must say that I thought I was about to post something truly gruesome and disgusting, but my friend Christy one-upped me yesterday with a post that would make David Sedaris cringe.  But, I'll go ahead with my post anyway . . .

About six months ago, my daughter came downstairs and whispered to me that her guinea pig Copper looked a little strange.  When I asked for details, she took my hand and led me to her room.  Strange, indeed.  Poor Copper had a piece of poop the size of a pecan trapped in his booty.

Lucky for me my brother Gene was in town.  Gene works in high-tech medical sales, and
 he performs spinal surgery on cadavers as part of his training.  So, something like this was right up his alley.  We googled "constipated guinea pig" and found specific instructions for performing the life-saving enema.  I held the guinea pig and he performed the procedure.

Fast forward to this week--once again, my daughter came downstairs with that look
 on her face.  "It's Copper.  He's got the poop thing again."  Well, dang.  My brother was no longer in town, and I knew I could never perform the procedure alone.  Naturally,
 I called Katie who said she would come and 
hold Copper while I did the deed.  

Here is Katie with our table of surgical 
instruments:  baby nose bulb, tweezers, mineral oil, warm water, toilet paper, q-tips, and lot of 

And here I am performing the extraction (for some reason the poop fuses with the skin, so you have to be very, very careful and use a delicate touch).


To read about some other crazy things we have to do as moms check out the armchair anthropologist's latest.


Little Ms J said...

Talk about true friends! How did that conversation go, "Um, can you come hold my guinea pig? There's a whole poop slash skin fusion thing going on...."

I love that you guys documented it!

Stephanie Perkins said...

YES! I've never met anyone else who has done this before! My husband and I had a guinea pig when we first got married, and he got impacted several times (before we finally got his diet right). We had the baby enema and the q-tips up the butt and everything. Good times.

(Ohh, and their poor squinchy faces! He always looked so sad and miserable and bloated, it just broke my heart.)

Katie is a great friend, indeed!

Katie said...

Oh my... It WAS an interesting afternoon! I am generally fearless and unable to be grossed out - but this procedure almost did me in.

SF is quite the poop surgeon. I was tremendously impressed by her de-fusion skills.

And Christy, I am STILL speechless.

JJ, the conversation was exactly like that!

And Perk, SF has done this TWICE! what IS the magic diet??

Anne Spollen said...

OK, snorting coffee through my nose again when I read this.

I once had to squeeze pus out of our dog's anal glands which made my teenagers think I was the anti Christ. You two are now in that league.

Hardygirl said...

Okay, Anne, my turn to spray coffee out of my nostrils and onto my keyboard. Puss-filled anal gland extraction??? I bow at your feet.

Yes, Miss J, Katie is the only friend I could call in such a situation. And, she didn't skip a beat--just said "are there any other options?".

Stephanie--what is the magic diet?? raisins? apples? a shot of prune juice in the water bottle?


a brilliant blog said...

you guys are a great team! From screenplays to stopped up guinea pigs. . . I look forward to seeing what's next?

Christy Raedeke said...

Best post ever! Coffee was snorted! The photos are exceptional; Katie's face says it all. Love the full head turnaway. And SF, you are just all business, aren't you?

Definitely beats the Pickled Baby story.

Colorado Writer said...

I am laughing my ass off right now.
Thanks for that!

Kelly H-Y said...

Oh my goodness ... that is so disgusting, and it made me laugh out loud. So true ... what we will do for our children (and friends!!)! :-) What a riot ... I hope there is not a third time! :-)

PurpleClover said...

Wow. I must say. I don't have friends like that. Granted, half of my friends don't have children so they've never had to deal with the mortifying experience of inserting suppositories, enemas, driving home from the mall with poop on their pants or barf on their shirt because they forgot to pack another pair of clothes, leaky boobs, peeing their pants when at 9 months pregnant just because they sneezed, or the horrific experience of realizing they missed a spot shaving because their belly was too big to see around.

When it comes to animals and adults, I say "bring it on!" My friends will one day be good friends...till then I just wait for them to have kids. ;)

Shelli said...

katies face is classic. but i think i see the guinea pig grinning :)

Katie said...

I'm so glad you girls loved it! I sure didn't ;-)

Aahhh what we do for our friends...

Suzanne Young said...

This was the best post!!! You are both so adorable!!!!

I understand this sort of pain. It's a mom thing. lol.

Katie said...

I forgot to say that while performing the surgery, our five daughters were on the other side of the table watching us and laughing. But what was funnier to me (as evidenced in photos that didn't make it into the post) was SF calmly explaining the procedure to the girls like Mr. Rogers.

Hardygirl said...

I should have put up a couple of more pictures--where I was very seriously explaining all of the intricacies of operation.

The girls were NOT wanting to be in the room.


Stephanie Perkins said...

Ahh, the magic diet. Our small animal vet recommended we switch Peeg's diet from timothy hay to orchard grass. Worked like a charm!

Too bad orchard grass is a major #*@(&$# pain-in-the-rump to find. (We ordered ours online.)

Good luck!

Paul Aertker said...

I never thought Christy's pickled baby story could have a run for its money. But this is it.
In the name of upper GI's and lower GI's, may God rest Copper's soul in peace.

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